1. take the subway to work in the morning, many people especially crowded! Next to a girl looks very kawaii is send text messages, I do not read one that she wrote, While unintentionally looked back and saw this girl goes on to say, . .
2. noon, to save money, a beauty line-up in the back asked me: ye both do not line up. the school because the school than the brother calm and not afraid brother dead ... ...
4. five children divided a cake, except for cut Mito, how to split? Answer: knife hacked to death a child burberry scarves, and then twice in the cake cut into four equal portions. . .
5. bachelor season rain have, on the road single Deep Sorrow. By asking his wife where there? Brother Yao Zhi Li Yuchun was
6. A child, the teacher told me: the human body has a hard villain and a lazy villain when you hesitate when they will fight. Primary hard when villain villain trounced often lazy, junior high school, tied up to the high school is a lazy villain often won. But to the university I suddenly found that they do not fight, the mother's hard villain was killed!
7. With a class of time finished Hsiao Ming to sum up. Xiao Ming thought, said: Suddenly the phone rang, Since then, A class of students who made no call to play a ......
9. There is a temporary thought come and go swim, dig in the supermarket bought a cheap swimming trunks, because there is no other color only red. The results did not expect swimming trunks fade, I soak in the pool when the lower body has a shred of red oozing out of the waves in the water ... swim ... an uncle to me, looked at my body under the red blood A girl is sick, the boy with her to clinic intravenous drip. 10 minutes later ...... twenty minutes later ...... neither happened. Boy wondering to break the silence, asked: . . . . . . Hand over the drip bottle. . . . . .
11. on the bus a couple rogue encounter, the woman left a rogue touch her boyfriend without any expression. After arriving to rogue pulling off her boyfriend, after a meal to bring skilled beaten his girlfriend left. A site analysis of the reasons to vote. 75% of people voted for Afternoon when she secretly meets Clockwork message to me: I sleep like the leading edge of dead pigs, the results of a good laugh ah ~ telecom issues, middle of the night was sent to my phone. At that time I almost did not jump off upstairs
13. I remember high school on the study, a buddy sleeping in the last row. Suddenly woke up, then light be turned, and went to sleep. At that time all the students look silly. . .
14. when high school students about her story. Class a boy lying on the table asleep, the teacher found the teacher very calm: at the same table care about. Then wash with there. . . At the same table took off his jacket draped over the sleeping boy's body. . .
15. old school, I was particularly engaged in the same table. Once he found the class to sleep was a teacher, the teacher said: so and so, stand up. I pushed him awake, said: teacher told you to stand up - but he stared at the teacher, just do not stand up. Teachers anxious: so and so! You gave me to stand up! He was not up, but also get dirty looks turned teacher. . The teacher Meipi Qi: the so and so, like you I can not control the students to continue to class! I whispered under: You're nb! With the teacher work against - so and so said: Actually, I want to stand up, but ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ I slept legs numb. . .
16. New Year's dinner, a few tables there is a name brand, and the rest of us just sit. Then I heard a woman say: long caught, but refusing to confess his accomplices, section chief with his very calm and mass of the cell phone text messages - rushed to the scene ........... annihilated ......< br> 18. the same bedroom with a dear friend in particular flowers, numerous girlfriends. One night he asked: There you . .
19. I was a child my father every day motorcycle ride to school. My father then had a hobby, that is asics gel kayano 16 mens, when the speed of eighties Wang Zuoce spit. And the impact of saliva can be completely free from wind speed perpendicular to the direction of play in the roadside trees. Estimates have to be hit about micro-injury. I speed in a school with around 150 road when the car decided to follow it. My father advised me to say: You Bite your tongue spit, and I practiced it. I said, do not spit on Tukou so what ah? Having Results The results are the face of strong winds snapped about the role of paste on the face. . . Nervously in front of my father: how? I endured nausea and cried: paste face a ~ ~ ~ I am relieved father said: Fortunately, not spit on me. Then there is no paper in hand, I have been riding the motorcycle speeding wore a saliva to the school. To dry after a mortgage on the down. . . . . .
20. was in junior high school, a self-study. Quiet and peaceful in that classroom, suddenly came back, Then we turn over. Two minutes later, back again, sounded a similar tone, . .
21. and a boyfriend to chat, said the rise of saliva scattered, splashed on his face. Then he wiped his hand instinctively. I am a bit embarrassed, but deliberately shift focus pretending to be very angry: especially small, everyday we Mai Tai, she one day she had had enough, so they rushed us cried: friction power: We are off when winter sweater. Cha Cha sweater will ring. There is lightning. But not this summer. Why? Behind the boys: do not wear a sweater because the summer. . .
24. drunk times with my friends said, he in the toilet, phone-like right hand, left hand according to the mirror, and mirrors in the control is tight it? for the early out ah ......< br> 25. Hangzhou, some public transportation here is relatively high, so are the costumes of the glass, says: emergency crack glass. These days the temperature rose, the car is also more heat, more people have cars. The most depressing is that no German who does not know the guy in the car put a silent giant smelly fart. . . Later, it was crack the glass. . .
26. One night, my parents came back to play mahjong, they entered the house when I woke up, but still very confused. Suddenly my feet cramp (estimated long tall), and then jumped up from the bed. Awareness was very vague, just want to take two steps, the cramps feel suppressed. Finally, I took two steps, that does not survive, the splash would kneel in front of my father, my father scared the daylights. After kneeling on the feeling that no cramps, then quietly stood up, anti-over body back to the room and went to sleep. The whole process is not a word, my dad was already estimated petrified.
PS: life is not the lack of jokes, just a lack of good eyes to see - hope you can laugh after the release of pressure, relaxed life ...
1. one among the children of Beijing and Shanxi coal bosses son to eat, among the children loudly: Coal bosses son to hear whispered: the main factors; friends to eat mainly fresh; eat the main boss to fine; eating public to
your main. Often associated with leadership dinner, promotion is a matter of; often associated with wealthy to eat, is a matter of fortune; often associated with Valentine's dinner, the kidney is often a matter of eating with the opposite sex, go to bed is a matter of time. The resulting conclusion is: want to do when the first meal. This is why everyone meeting and asked:
3. Riddles Chinese characteristics: 1 Q: doing harm fake fake ads while denouncing what is? A: charlatan. Wrong, is CCTV. Question 2: more expensive than the university is what? A: The study abroad. Wrong, is kindergarten. 3 Q: Why do people fall directly from several kilometers to less than one thousand meters high, but calm, do not jump? A: Yes, in the parachute. Wrong, the Chinese investors; 4 Q: obviously pocket only $ 30, but do have a lot of data to prove the actual $ 100 with? A: liar. Wrong, is Bureau of Statistics.
4. urgent notice: H1N1 disease prevention tips: do not kiss no hug, men and women to meet the light smirk; love to endure, is intended to be consumers, flirtatious can throw hard! Last year at this time we hid outside the earthquake, this time of year we are at home to hide the flu. Last year at this time do not stay home all right, all right this time of year, do not stay outside. Pigs are strong last year, this year's pig is crazy.
5. people in the arena, beyond our control; in marriage, love could not help himself; in official circles, it could not help himself; people in the unit, do not help himself; people in the world, life could not help himself; life choice , what return have? Enjoy life, treat yourself.
6. really want to wage a long, more party-loving heart, and give the child a reward, to see his wife cried a dare, dare to taste seafood Liriodendron, and leisure to go shopping, and meet beautiful women itching, the result prices have a long, all white like his mother had.
7. the secret life of the financial crisis: one, do not add lover; 2, time to get rid of an affair; 3, to maintain the existing number of children; 4, to cook at home; 5, multiple less information call; 6, take someone else's car to go its own way; 7, eat their meals so that others pay; 8, try to forward the information others to save their brain; 9, happy with the happiness of others.
8. revolutionary work so much suffering: the reaction is slow play dead; poor will be free of death; timid will be scared to death; small amount of alcohol will be filling dead; poor health will be exhausted; speech will be straight to death; can be used to work, will die. So please, can not be too dedicated a. Dong Cunrui take too stabilized; Liu Hulan, a mouth too; Qiu Shaoyun lie too dead; Jiguang too accurate a flutter; Zhang Side run late; Bethune will be too much. Lessons Yeah, a good attitude is the most important! Otherwise, people in heaven, the money in the bank
9. Do not live too tired, too tired not to busy; Xiangui not want to eat, too do not want to wear a waste: upset of dating to find friends, asleep fell down asleep. Peace of mind is always beautiful, happy day is that rich.
Three Chedan: rely on wages from the house is bought by the efforts Chedan
promoted the work that you did not Chedan
affair that is four strange nonsense
: a man loved by the dog as do things better than
informants trusted
; the line as fast
lay mentioning ; flicker more heroic than dedicated
Five Lies: Sinopec, said losses
Police say that I miss to protect people
is the first time
boss said I can not lose you
; leaders have the opportunity to say good work
five sad: beautiful calligraphy by computer scrap
a waste of good wine
stomach was Valentine spent a good home is a good officer is a
yuan spent a
a waste of oil to market
six scores: the reform of pocket dig real estate empty
parents crazy
education reform health care reform, enterprise reform laid off ahead of suspension nail in the coffin
government reform bloated
marital cohabitation has become a trend of reform
Chinese-style humor
husband: What time is it?
wife: ten.
husband: the whole it?
wife: it is too early, others do not sleep!
husband: I asked ten o'clock it?
wife: eleven and then the whole bar.
husband: your mother, I ask you is 10 o'clock the whole.
wife: your mother, and 11:00 in the whole, I am not to engage in your day you feel well is not it?
husband: I'm just asking, is now 10 o'clock the whole what?
wife: a full whole, now on the whole! ! ! ! !
one woman marriage, the conditions of friends out there are two
1. to handsome
2. have a car
; computer to help her search results ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ chess
the woman, not satisfied with the results found another input
1. have a nice house
2.
computers have a lot of money to help her re-search results ~~~~~~ bank
This woman is still not disappointed, continue to enter the conditions
1 to look cool
2 results found also to have a sense of security
result ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~ Altman
This woman is still not disappointed, but also to the input conditions
1. to handsome
2. have a car
3. have a nice house
4. to There are a lot of money to look cool
5
6 and also to have a sense of security
computer to help her re-search results ~~~~~~~ Altman to play chess in the bank
between husband wife funny SMS jokes
wife: I cut the hair, will become difficult to see? Husband: No, ah! Wife: Really? Husband: Yes, ah! Hair has nothing to do with your ugly ah. Wife to her husband: Empress Dowager Cixi people buried his mouth when the mouth is a big pearl, a hundred years later with what I have to have a face. Her husband said: You have to include pork balls or moth balls?
Wife: Do you remember in February, you said you go to catch carp and Pharaoh's this? Husband: Of course I remember. Wife: There is a carp just call and say you have a father
a man going to the toilet, had just closed the door heard next door asked: I know him? Strange!
then next door asked: ? Chagrin, said: gay! a silly B! I say he took a!!
A teacher marking English composition, suddenly furious: Writing Princess replied
summer mosquitoes alive to how to do it?
1. of course, to support his
2. send him to school
3. to buy him a house
4. to help him marry wife
5. give him a child
otherwise how can you do?
After all, it is your body's blood flow
v professor asked: rotten radish and what pregnant woman the same point? A wonderful school students: are the fault of insects. Only 60 points. The other students actually get out, the answer is: because pulling too late.
1. son to learn well, my mother scolding, scolded, the son of my father looked with sad eyes, said: Why do you marry her? Father said with sad eyes: not because you!
2. a man to jump paul smith wallet, just shouted back to his wife: do not hesitate to jump down and whipped. stood negotiators, said: ; finally got married in every possible way the cat harsh care of mice, rats quickly fat, mouse is moved: know. ; a crush on her boys quickly followed shouted: motherland ah! my wife's mother!
5. father: you are so big, that to find a wife. Son: Yes, but a big crowd, I turn to the wife do?
6. There is a pig with a God he does not want to, you want to get rid of pigs, pigs back to the outside ! Once he sent far away pig, and later he called and said to his wife: Pig back? Wife: back! He said: I called the pig to pick, I lost.
A crazy, I do not know where to get a pistol, he was walking in a small dark alley. Suddenly encounter a young man, then do not say crazy 2 its security on the ground with guns to his head! Asked: 1 + 1 = a few? Young people scared! Meditation for a long time. Replied: Then pull the gun in his arms, said a cold:
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